Category Archives: Chris Hoovler
We Miss You So Much
ONE year ago (September 18, 2010) this coming Sunday we lost Carol Phan, Chris Hoovler, Kassy Bittick, and Bobby Bittick.
Your family and friends miss you all sooooo much.
Carol: We love you with all our heart, and miss you more than anyone can imagine.
Kassy and Bobby’s mom is planning a get together at her house at 4PM Saturday (Sept 17th): 1893 Bayberry Ln, Tracy, CA followed by a candlelight vigil at the site at 6:30 PM.
I am not sure if I will attend or not, but, if you do, please take pictures so I can post on ForCarol.com.
Here is the event page for the vigil: https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=171535406258018
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Drive Safe! Never Forget (Carol, Chris, Kassy, Bobby)
Teens Drive Safe This Summer
Looking at the ForCarol Facebook page, I spotted this interesting article by the AAA.
Summer is a very dangerous time for teen drivers. Parents are the key to keeping them safe (even though they will fight you tooth and nail).
Always remember this: Would you rather argue with your teen…or bury them?
To save time, I copied the tips from the AAA article here:
AAA suggests the following tips for parents to keep teen drivers safe:
Restrict driving and eliminate trips without purpose –Teens have three times as many fatal crashes as all other drivers, based on amount of miles driven, and a teen’s crash risk is highest during the first year of solo driving. Parents should limit teens’ driving to essential trips and only with parental permission for at least the first year of driving.
Become an effective driving coach – The best way for new teen drivers to gain experience is through parent-supervised practice driving, where parents can share their wisdom accumulated over many years of driving. Even after a teen has a license that allows solo driving, parents and teens should continue to practice driving together to help the teen manage increasingly more complex and challenging driving conditions. AAA’s Teaching Your Teens to Drive coaching program is a great tool to help parents become effective driving coaches for their teens and is available at 800-327-3444.
Limit the number of teen passengers and time as a passenger – Teen crash rates increase with each teen passenger in the vehicle. Fatal crash rates for 16- to 19-year-olds increase fivefold when two or more teen passengers are present versus when teens drive alone. Also, riding in a vehicle with a teen driver can be risky for teen passengers. Crash risk begins to increase at the age of 12, well before a teen can obtain a driver’s permit or license – and before many parents start to think about their children being at risk riding as a passenger of a teen driver. Parents should set firm rules against driving with teen passengers and restrict their teens from riding as a passenger with a teen driver.
Restrict night driving – A teen driver’s chances of being involved in a deadly crash doubles when driving at night. Many parents rightly limit driving during the highest-risk late night hours, yet they should limit evening driving as well, as more than half of nighttime crashes occur between 9 p.m. and midnight. AAA recommends that newly-licensed teens not drive after 9 or 10 p.m. unless accompanied by a responsible adult.
Establish a parent-teen driving agreement – Many parents and teens find written agreements help set and enforce clear rules about night driving, passengers, access to the car, and more. AAA offers a parent-teen driving agreement on its teen driver safety website, TeenDriving.AAA.com. The comprehensive website offers a variety of additional tools and resources for parents and teens as they progress through the learning-to-drive process, to include AAA StartSmart, a free online resource based on a research-tested program for families developed by the National Institutes of Health.
Drive Safe! Never Forget (Carol, Chris, Kassy and Bobby).
Joleen Ruffin, Tracy Island Online
7 Stages of Grief
I was running the other day (a good sign that at least my life is starting to return to “normal”) and thinking about what stage of grief I might be in, or entering (truthfully, after reading the below, I am probably between 4 and 5 right now).
That thought prompted me to do an Internet search on this topic (on the 5 month anniversary…today) and I found this awesome explanation at this website. I hope the people who run that website do not mind me copying it…
I know many of you who read ForCarol knew either Carol, Chris, Bobby or Kassy….this may help you understand a bit more about yourself.
The lesson: Grief takes time. You will never be the same and you will never forget, but, you will eventually learn how to move forward with your life.
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Here is the grief model called “The 7 Stages of Grief”:
7 Stages of Grief…
1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.
You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)
4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.
7 Stages of Grief…
5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
7 stages of grief…
You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.
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Carol Phan, Chris Hoovler, Bobby and Kassy Bittick
It has been almost 5 months….we miss you sooo much.
NEVER FORGET, Drive SAFE!
Chris Hoovler Bench
I was discussing ForCarol.com at the Tracy Chamber (not very successfully by the way) this morning and Larry Hite mentioned that his company: Tracy Home Inspections donated a bench and plaque in Chris Hoovler’s name.
This bench is now located at Chris’s favorite sitting spot at Millennium High School.
Thank you Larry!
Drive safe!
Our Lives Continue
Today was the last day of memorials, services, visitations for Carol, Chris, Kassy, and Bobby.
I’ll take a day or so to regroup, and start this web site for it’s ultimate goal, but, for the kids in the meantime….thanks for your support, and:
DO WELL in school and BE CAREFUL. I am pretty sure Carol, Chris, Kassy and Bobby would WANT you to….you were their friends for a reason….do good for them.
Make the world a better place to honor them.
This web site will continue, but I need teen help, I want to talk in schools to stop other incidents like this from happening. When (if) I am at your school….I need supporters to help! YOU!
“ForCarol’s Army”….sort of like Dumbledore’s. Not afraid to stand up for what is right, no matter how hard it may be.
For the parents: CURFEWS! Do it….no complaining no excuses.
Arguing is better than burying….
THANKS WEST HIGH! You ROCK!!!!
Time to Heal
Oct 8
Posted by Mike Pihlman
The hits on this web site are normalizing down to just a few views a day.
This is good.
The teenagers are back on Facebook, studying, partying, and driving safe, the adults are back to work and concentrating on imposing curfews on their kids, and the families of Carol, Chris, Kassy and Bobby are waiting for time to help the healing process.
As we all move forward…. let’s NEVER FORGET. Let’s all drive safe and help support the families of this horrific accident, and work together to try to stop this from happening again.
In the future months, years, decades (if I have that long)…you will see ForCarol.com banners, pamphlets, donation requests for the “Carol Phan Scholarship Fund” (which ALREADY has enough money in it to help THREE Tracy High scholars go to college. We want to make it 25 students….or 50 students…..or 100 students…..so donations are always welcome / needed).
This site will live on. Eventually it will be non-profit. So visit it often for tips on safe driving around Tracy, CA.
I will not stop…I will never forget.
This web site is For Carol, Chris, Kassy and Bobby.
Posted in Bobby Bittick, Carol Phan, Chris Hoovler, Comment, Kassy Bittick
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